I hear often from young women around the world who believe that the Saudi whom they met is the love of their lives. These women share how he makes them feel emotions they have never felt before. He understands them like no one ever has. He is their soul mate and they are ready to toss aside their family, culture and beliefs and do whatever they must do to have a life with him.
In most cases the woman knows little about his family. He tells her it doesn’t matter as the love they share is between them and their business only. In some cases the man is already married but has convinced her that she is the lost love he has been seeking and his life can not be complete without her in it. He makes it sound simple and natural for her that they would have an Islamic marriage ceremony so he can call her wife and be with her as only a husband can be.
The man is confident and always has answers to her questions. He claims he will always be able to come to her country and have time with her. He wants her to be the mother of his children. He will take care of her. She should never worry about the other wife for that was an arranged marriage and not a love match.
She generally has no objection to converting to Islam. She wants to do all she can to please him. If converting makes it a step closer to marriage, she is all for that. She’ll change herself to show him she can be all and more that he would expect of a good Muslim wife.
What she does not know or somehow pushes to the dark recesses of her mind is that a marriage started in secrecy and duplicity is not the way couples are intended to start a life together. Why would he not want her, the love of his life, to know about his family? Why would he not want to be proud and eager to introduce the love of his life to his family? What should be a blaring warning signal to her is easily ignored and explained away by him. All she can think of is the carnal need to be married to him rather than building a foundation for a long and successful marriage.
Why does she think it is okay if he is already married and she will be become a second wife through an Islamic ceremony? Does she not realize that an Islamic ceremony without recognition of the marriage by Saudi Arabia will preclude her from any benefits or from ever being acknowledged as his wife? Does she not think about the repercussions of becoming a second wife? Does she not think about the first wife? Why is it okay if he tells her the first marriage was arranged? Does she not see that maybe he is being selfish? Does she not think that when he is back in Saudi he is not being a husband to his first wife?
What kind of assurance has he given her that she believes he will be able to come and go freely between her country and Saudi Arabia? She will certainly never be able to go to Saudi Arabia without a recognized marriage approval or a sponsor. If he chooses to, he can simply disappear from her life.
What about children? What kind of stability does such a relationship offer to children? Is it fair to even think of bringing children into such a union?
Why is it easy for a couple from two nationalities to be married Islamically? Shouldn’t the local mosque or sheik who is marrying the couple have an obligation to investigate their situation? If a Saudi is marrying outside of the Kingdom perhaps there should be a regulation that a copy of the Islamic marriage certificate should be sent by the sheik to the nearest Saudi embassy?
Why does a woman find it easy to believe and accept a new religion and perhaps polygamy? The resources are readily available for women to read and learn about Saudi Arabia, Saudi marriage approvals and polygamy.
