Dear Islam: We Love You to Pieces

Armed Iraqi child.Iraqi children are forced to become men at a very young age. (Photo courtesy of

Smile — we are bringing the American dream to your country. This should becelebrated not scorned. While doing this your welfare and security shall be our top priority. Think of us as the good doctorwho is treating your injury. The pain we bring you is only temporary.

We acknowledge that you really want to be the religion of peace but we cannot permit this because this restrains us from acquiring essential domestic support that enables us to colonize your sacred lands and manage your resources for you.

Someone has to do it therefore we are really only exercising our God-given rights to police the world. If we damage any of your public spaces and properties we shall rebuild them to modern standards. Your country will look brand new when we have completed our mission.

The good news is that it will all be free. Yes you heard us right; we are not going to bill you for anything — we promise. Hold on, there’s more! In fact, we intend on paying many of you off to express our generosity. If you do not believe us just look at our track record in Iraq. Where do you think the many billions disappeared to? That is why God created the American people. They are relatively well off, spoiled, and easily deceived by propaganda. But do not forget to slide some of it back to certain individuals before you lose track of it all. We are certain you know how this works.

Our commission is to oust your tyrants from power and install our own brand of freedom and democracy that is friendly to American corporatism. Please trust us when we affirm that you will embrace this — everyone does except our own people. But they matter not because we know what is in their best interests. They are too dumbed-down to manage their own affairs. As it stands now, they still believe they need government. Yeah, yeah we know; we are laughing too but it is not their fault. We made them that way.

We are aware of your anemic military and poorly funded ragtag militias with second or third rate technology. To demonstrate our sportsmanship, the CIA shall provide your resistance with weapons, funding, training, and fighters so that they may give our ownheroes a good fight — just like we did early on in Iraq when we imported Taliban and Al-Qaeda freedom fighters. Who said we didn’t play fair?

Do not be concerned with our war on terror. It is not for you. When you do challenge us please persist in practicing very cunning guerrilla tactics that we call terrorism so that we may prolong labeling you terrorists. This justifies us further eroding the civil rights of our own people while it reduces them to obedient Manchurian citizens who dispense endless funding and healthy bodies needed for extending these war games.

A sullen and well-armed American public is very dangerous to the state. Hence, it is essential to pacify them with controlled or illegal toxic substances. Therefore, despite ourwar on drugs, we shall continue to guard your crops and accommodate you with covert protection and assistance while exporting your most bountiful commodity — opium. We also demand this product to maintain imprisoning our own citizens otherwise some will go hungry in the public-sector while private citizens run restless in the streets seeking for somewhere to fit in.

We apologize that Christianity has been and will endure as the religion of pieces. But we respectfully request that you remain patient with us and sustain your very courageous struggle otherwise many American defense and construction companies will lose value and right now our economy is very fragile. Your armed response is the humanitarian thing to do because the alternative is for such corporations to lay off more of our workforce in the private sector. They must not be handicapped of their ability to provide for themselves. We are only doing this for the children — ours. But your children who do not becomecollateral damage will benefit too.

The state really is a noble thing because it feeds families and restricts them to peaceful dissent. Some of this is valued because such a disgruntled public can be easily divided and weakened. Just like the facade that democracy has become, this builds the illusion that their government must answer to them. If they only knew who was really pulling the reins. But please lets only keep this between us — two trusting friends.

When all this is over we shall lift martial law and install a much kinder police stategovernment that primarily arrests people in masses for petty victimless offenses. This will spawn a major prison industry that will feed many sectors of your free economy especially in government jobs such as prisons, police, justice system, administration, and of course public-sector labor unions that we shall very happily procure for you. You will also generate much more wealth in the form of taxation, fines, and fees to grow your government to fund all this. Just like a well cultivated olive tree, the more you care for it the bigger it will grow.

Winning your hearts and minds really is our goal. The West really does love you this much. We also thank you for your participation; for without you this conflict would not be possible. May Allah bless you and guide you through the ever so elusive path to peace, prosperity, freedom, and happiness.

Your dearest friend,

The United States Federal Government

Further Reading and Viewing

The list that follows are current and republished articles authored by this reporter and op-ed writer. He was recently fired for something he regrettably wrote while not in the right state of mind. As a libertarian, he fully accepts this consequence from his employer and the resentment by the general public. It is really nothing more than accepting personal responsibility for one’s own actions and welfare without encroaching on anyone else’s right to this.

The following items are full-length independent documentary films, talks, news clips, or interviews that reveal the true nature of the American government when it wages war.

The first two embedded items are of particular interest because the United States has built many secret military bases in Afghanistan. Is it doing this to remain there indefinitely? Is it setting the stage for an invasion of Iran and to remind the Russians who is now the tough guy on the block?

© 2012 Jules Manson — All Rights Reserved

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