NOVANEWS
SAUDIS BEHEADED BY ISIS AFTER ATTEMPTED DESERTION

According to sources in Al-Raqqa, they were forced to confess to desertion and were tried on the spot in a makeshift “religious court” officiated by some orangutan pretending to be a legal scholar. He was quick to find them guilty of the following charges: 1. Desertion in the face of the infidel enemy; 2. attempting to take refuge in a country of infidels. The sentence? Guess what. Well, it wasn’t probation or under advisement.
They were taken to an undisclosed location now known for its ruggedness in an area called Al-Hoota where they were tossed unceremoniously into a natural cavity in the earth. How ignoble. The source of this information is a medical professional in Al-Raqqa whose name cannot be revealed.
The rats of ISIS are now paranoid. They have doubled morals police patrols, reinstituted a curfew and intensified fortifications to insure their stalwart, loyal and committed jihadists don’t try something like this again. Hey, if ISIS continues to rid the world of such vermin, how can we protest? Don’t laugh your heads off. It’s true.