NOVANEWSby mantiqaltayr |
1. Hey candidates, Presidential, Senatorial and Houseial (to coin a new word) we here at Mantiq al-Tayr have come up with a new invention that will give you the edge on November 6th. Lots of contests could be decided by just a few hundred falsely-counted votes or just one Zionist-controlled electronic voting machine. You need to make sure that the vote fraud is done in your favor and we have come up with just the election tool that could get you over the edge and into a cushy job selling out the American taxpayer to any special interests you chose.
Yes, you need that edge that will get you the support you need to make sure that you are the victor this fall and our latest invention is just what the doctor ordered to get you through the very tough 24/7 campaigning that lies ahead of you.
Look, we here at Mantiq al-Tayr know that sucking up to Israel and AIPAC is damn near a full-time job in and of itself and it can wear you down and make you sometimes look as stupid as LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who no doubt is wishing at this very moment that we here at Mantiq al-Tayr had released this invention a few days ago, but I digress. Anyway, in order to make you handle more smoothly the wear and tear coming from the grueling days ahead, my little tuyuur here at Mantiq al-Tayr have been working their feathers off all summer long to come up with just the invention for you. And if you buy it now you even get an extra free gift that will come in very handy right before press conferences, speeches, and dalliances with cheap women (or men, or both).
To see this new invention and learn how it can help you win or win-back your job scroll down slowly.
– Keeping going:
![]( "Knee Pads 2")
Yes, at long last, the Kosher Planner Knee Pad has been perfected and is in stock and ready to be rolled out. With the KKK Pad(tm) your knees, back and neck won’t be sore and stiff after those long parties at the Israeli embassy, or after boring meetings withMossad AIPAC reps right before you make an important announcement, or during or after your mandatory trips to Israel to meet with insane Israeli law-breakers, criminals, terrorists and just plain assholes – often in the company of US (hahaha) Ambassador to Israel, Dan Shapiro. Yes, you can put smiles on their faces and you won’t need leg braces.
They’ll look like this:
![]( "Shapiro Satisfied")
And you’ll look like this.
![]( "Hoyer Satisfaction")
Plus, if you order now, we will send you free, a two-month supply of our soon-to-be patented Double K mouthwash that eliminates all the smells associated with heavy duty kosher cock-sucking to a level of 99.99% (not yet available in Iowa), so that you can emerge from your meetings with Israeli terrorists and their supporters feeling and smelling fresh as a gefilte fish.
Yes, you need that edge that will get you the support you need to make sure that you are the victor this fall and our latest invention is just what the doctor ordered to get you through the very tough 24/7 campaigning that lies ahead of you.
Look, we here at Mantiq al-Tayr know that sucking up to Israel and AIPAC is damn near a full-time job in and of itself and it can wear you down and make you sometimes look as stupid as LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who no doubt is wishing at this very moment that we here at Mantiq al-Tayr had released this invention a few days ago, but I digress. Anyway, in order to make you handle more smoothly the wear and tear coming from the grueling days ahead, my little tuyuur here at Mantiq al-Tayr have been working their feathers off all summer long to come up with just the invention for you. And if you buy it now you even get an extra free gift that will come in very handy right before press conferences, speeches, and dalliances with cheap women (or men, or both).
To see this new invention and learn how it can help you win or win-back your job scroll down slowly.
– Keeping going:
Yes, at long last, the Kosher Planner Knee Pad has been perfected and is in stock and ready to be rolled out. With the KKK Pad(tm) your knees, back and neck won’t be sore and stiff after those long parties at the Israeli embassy, or after boring meetings withMossad AIPAC reps right before you make an important announcement, or during or after your mandatory trips to Israel to meet with insane Israeli law-breakers, criminals, terrorists and just plain assholes – often in the company of US (hahaha) Ambassador to Israel, Dan Shapiro. Yes, you can put smiles on their faces and you won’t need leg braces.
They’ll look like this:
And you’ll look like this.
Plus, if you order now, we will send you free, a two-month supply of our soon-to-be patented Double K mouthwash that eliminates all the smells associated with heavy duty kosher cock-sucking to a level of 99.99% (not yet available in Iowa), so that you can emerge from your meetings with Israeli terrorists and their supporters feeling and smelling fresh as a gefilte fish.
